At the age of 74 I am a lot closer to the last day of my official professional working career than I am from the first day. For every single one of the past 50+ years of work I have earned a living and raised a beautiful family employed in some way as a salesman. As I look back now into the rear view mirror of my career, it is clear to me that perhaps one of my greatest blessings was to have chosen sales as the choice for my professional career.
Interestingly, when I was 18 and graduating from high school, sales would have been a most surprising career choice for me. As one of the grandsons from a third-generation family-owned steel fabrication construction company, I was destined to graduate from college and come home to work in the family business.
It seems likely to me that most of the people you know do not dream of growing up to be a salesperson. I didn’t. Virtually no parent advises their child to go to college and learn to be a salesperson. In fact the dream of many parents is to send their child to college, and imagine them with pride to continue on to receive their PhD... I advised all of my children to get a college degree to open doors for them in different fields.
Yet I’ve discovered over time why sales can be so rewarding emotionally, mentally and financially. It is because most people stereotype sales people as the person trying to separate them from their money. A sales person they probably don’t know who might be asking them to purchase or invest in something they may not really want to own. The truth is that nobody likes to be sold anything. Yet, funnily enough, many love to buy things. There is an enormous amount of room and success available to professional sales people simply because there are so few good ones.
Individuals and businesses that offer products, opportunities and services need to educate and inform consumers why they may want to own or have a need for their offerings. This is Competition and The Marketplace. Every product or service competes to find willing buyers. Consumers do not automatically purchase the cheapest, or most feature rich, or prettiest, or most convenient, or biggest or smallest or most familiar product. They buy because they became sold by an advertisement or a recommendation from a friend, or an internet blog, or a specific feature…or, a salesperson. Every sale is a transaction, every transaction is paid for by the consumer, and every transaction pays a sales fee. If the consumer has a great buying experience it may create loyalty to BOTH the product and the salesperson and create RESIDUAL income on future purchases credited to that sales person. Sales is often a long game that repays the sales person for their skills over and over and over. At the end of the day, it is about building relationships. We all like to buy things from people we know and like and trust.
I also believe that the dynamics of selling are also very much the dynamics of good parenting. Parenting is persuading, providing, caring, compromising and following through on promises. Because, after all aren’t parents in the business of selling their advice and ideas to their spouse and kids? Parents need to consider objections and offer solutions, be honest, paint the big picture, recognize that winning in the moment may result in losing in the long-term. And, conversely, that giving in does not mean giving up. Every one of these attributes that I have learned in sales has helped me to understand how to be a better parent. The process of negotiating and coming to an agreement in sales is the same as the give and take of parenting. Sales, and parenting, is largely the process of understanding in order to be understood. Honest empathy is the result of talking half as often as you are listening.
I believe that in parenting you must hear your children in their voice and frame of reference. It is actually okay to use sales technique with your children. Here are a few that I might recommend. Ask the following::
That is a great question, why do you ask?
If I agree (or disagree) with you, how will that make you feel?
Is this really important to you? Why?
Is there anything else you would like to discuss?
Is there any other solution?
When do you need an answer?
Can we agree that this is a one-time exception to the rule?
How will you pay for this decision (this is not necessarily a financial request).
Whether we are selling our spouse on the idea of going out for dinner, or our kids on the benefits of studying for a test by putting down the TV remote, or the ability to persuade someone else to consider our personal point of view over their objections… our sales skills allow us to persuade our audience to objectively consider the benefits of our point of view regardless of their inherent bias or knee-jerk reaction. It also allows us to accept the final outcome of the discussion as a fair result of our presentation and the listener’s concerns. The act of selling is not a technique but rather a philosophy of mutual agreement between interested parties. I love sales!