Since the time my kids started having kids of their own I have become much more aware of the passage of time. There are so many markers of time marching on. There are birthdays, anniversaries, enrollment in kindergarten, elementary school, middle school, and many more schools to come. Soon graduations, marriages, and grandchildren….a beautiful blur of dates and memories. And then, of course I will begin to tell and miss-remember some of my own stories of 50 or 60 years earlier. Embellishing, adding and forgetting details, entertaining and amazing all who will listen about the days when cars had no seat belts and gasoline cost 25 cents/gallon, black and white televisions, how I met their mother and the magic of what it was like to grow up back in the day.
Yet, it has never been more clear that the true catalyst for a magical life for yourself and all those that you care about and that care about you, is to be present in the moment you are currently experiencing. The act of being present means being fully conscious of the current moment and free from the noise of internal dialogue. Presence is a gift to yourself and anyone within your presence in that specific moment. It is probably not difficult to recall dozens of circumstances when your mind was wandering while actually being engaged in a conversation with someone unrelated to your thoughts. It is a natural circumstance that requires vigilance and real effort to overcome. When you are present in a conversation you are acknowledging the value of the OTHER PERSON’S presence. You are giving them the gift of your attention which acknowledges their value to you. In other words, you are being selfless instead of selfish.
The most difficult realization about suffering from a lack of presence is that it is likely that it manifests most often with the people you care most about. There is an old familiar saying that familiarity breeds contempt. But I believe it is much more likely to breed complacency. The sense that you know what someone is going to say, or you assume that it may be unimportant or uninteresting and your mind begins to wander. Sometimes, you are actually looking someone straight in the eye and your lack of presence doesn’t translate into an understanding or engagement with their words.
I think and hope I am getting better at being present. For me, it requires a conscious effort that returns many rewards, particularly from those of whom I care about most. And as importantly, even selfishly, those that I would like to have care most about me.
“There is only one time that is important – NOW! It is the most important time because it is the only time that we have any power.”
Leo Tolstoy
“I never think of the future. It comes soon enough.”
Albert Einstein
“The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, nor to worry about the future, but to live the present moment wisely and earnestly.”
Buddha.