V3. CH4. INTROSPECTION AGAIN

I feel as though I have entered into a recognizable state of decline, both mentally and physically.  I have had this sense of decline for quite a lengthy period of time, but most recognizably since my retirement about 16 months ago.  I retired in a sort of voluntary/involuntary way without a lot of retirement preparation.  

The voluntary piece came through a recognition that the independent sales consulting business I had built over the previous two decades was no longer fun.  Between management changes, product evolution, competition, and some of my best clients leaving the business I was beginning to lose momentum…and had simply begun to fall out of love with my career.  If you have ever personally experienced momentum loss, then I am certain you recognize how difficult it can be to regain the feeling that the wind is at your back instead of blowing in your face!

Fortunately when I retired the company I worked for provided me with some financial security for a period of time.  I assumed with all of my contacts and a 40 year sales career, as well as a supportive wife and family, that it would not be particularly difficult to identify interests that would keep me occupied and engaged, while at the same time providing me with time to uncover new and separate sources of part time income.   

My real goal was to find some thing to do that I truly enjoyed doing, while perhaps simultaneously giving back to the community.  Up until now however, 16 months later, I have not found either the significant engagement or financial opportunity I had been anticipating would be so simple for me to identify.

It is finally dawning on me that the things that were most stimulating for me during the last 25 years of my professional career will most likely be the strongest components of what will stimulate me in my retirement years: 

  1. I need to be in service of (or with) people

  2. I need to be offering, explaining or participating in a meaningful interaction as an educator of some sort.

  3. I thrive in gratefulness where I am either serving in gratitude,  or grateful to be in the companionship of others 

I also recognize that the greatest periods of success in my career have always occurred whenever I had more things to do than could be reasonably accomplished in the amount of time available to do them.  It is actually the definition of momentum.  

The result of achieving momentum requires that a choice be made in order to identify the most valuable use of your time.  A lack of momentum requires choosing between less valued options in order to fill your time (similar to watching TV reruns).  Philosophically, I am aware of the conundrum.  Joy and contribution is the activated manifestation of that awareness.  

I appreciate the privilege of being able to write and share these blog posts because they require my being introspective and honest.  I greatly appreciate your taking the time to read them.  You are always welcome to comment or even provide advice by emailing mickeylistener@yahoo.com.  I would look forward to your thoughts. 

p.s. Oh, and by the way, I have been leaning into training as an End of Life Doula through DoulaGivers Institute.  What a great way to be Introspective...