I am fortunate to have both male and female grand children. And, I absolutely love them equally. However, upon reflection, I do notice that I occasionally treat my grandsons as stereotypical boys and my granddaughters as stereotypical girls. Here are some of my unintentional assignments of “male” traits. Boys are tougher, less emotional, more competitive, have an affinity for trucks, bats and balls, and an attachment to “winning” and hanging out with dad. Girls are more fragile, sensitive, concerned with appearance, are more domestic, more studious, enjoy hanging out with mom, etc.
Please don’t judge me for what I am admitting to. Both the male and female children that my wife Susan and I have raised are amazing and accomplished. They have grown up with exposure to many opportunities and choices and they had the interest and enthusiasm to explore those choices. Yet, the question remains, did my prejudice, however great or slight, toward raising my sons as “men” and my daughters as “women” ultimately narrow their vision and influence their future thru “gender bias?”
Susan suggested that I look for definitions of “Divine Feminine” and “Divine Masculine” traits which are inherent in every human regardless of gender. The logic being that perhaps then I would have a better perspective on how well balanced these traits seem to be in the children we raised as well as the grandchildren they are now raising.
So….the eight most common traits that typically manifest as “Divine Feminine” (depending upon the encyclopedic number of articles, research papers and phrases from which you can choose to research) are:
Intuitive, Heart-centered, Compassionate, Wise, Accepting, Forgiving, Collaborative, Reflective, Understanding, Patient
And for “Divine Masculine” they are:
Risk-taking, Assertiveness, Action-oriented, Discipline, Boundaries, Confidence, Objectivity, Logic and Analysis, Warrior
Boiling this thought process down to Divine masculine / Divine feminine traits speaks to me (it must activate my masculine “Objectivity” and “logic and analysis” traits). It also gave me some confidence, as I applied these traits to my grown children and developing grandchildren, that they all have generally balanced “Divine Masculine” and “Divine Feminine” traits appropriate to their gender.
However, I think the most interesting observations I was able to identify by reviewing the above listed traits is that almost all of the family females exhibit the masculine traits of assertiveness, discipline and confidence….which I see as somewhat my influence, outside of cultural constraints for survival.
Yet, the males overtly manifest few of the feminine traits beyond collaboration which conversely may be my lack of influence on the male progeny of our family. I am grateful for having completed this exercise because it may help influence both the subject matter and emphasis of future family conversations. I encourage you to spend some time with these thoughts, it may enlighten your future family conversations as well.