From singingsuebee - Yes, this is the Father’s Blog, but I am called to share this love letter with you that I wrote to my daughter. This is a place of love, afterall, and a chance to share one’s heart with each other. Maybe you will feel this, too. I love you. June 2021
A few moments in June to share a mother’s forever connection to her daughter:
In the blink of my eye is the rest of your life dearest Maggie Jo, light of my life though not of my life…
You are my only child, from me, which distinguishes you from your other siblings. I feel as if you have been nourished and relinquished all in a breath. As your life goes through time, freely, mine sees the end of time, mechanically waiting to be recreated in another time and space. I am an infinite being yet my life, this life, is still finite.
Death scares us but if we are energetic beings held only together by our skin and organs and brains and neurons and bones, and our soul’s mission, how could we possibly actually die?! Energy knows no bounds. Yet, some of those things do disappear in one exhale and our energy lives on. Our mission lives on.
I recently spoke to my mom and dad, your beautiful maternal grandparents who have left this earth plane. They both told me this: it is irresponsible of me to try and convince you of anything anymore. It is wrong of me to try and show you the way anymore, to try and influence you. Stop it.
Your dad and I raised you as best as we could given the reality of being divorced, and me being a single mom, working. I did well enough. Your needs were met. I loved the responsibility of teaching you, showing you the way, playing with you, making food to feed you, and was conscious to live my life to set an example for you of choice, independence, love and freedom.
Now your path is yours and I’m not on it. My choices have no breath in your being. My thoughts are a burden for you to consider. This is neither good nor bad, it is by design. I call it Free Will and your Free Will is not choosing me as your compass anymore. We have intersected for such a short period of time and your time on the planet now will be longer than our time spent together.
It was also explained to me that it’s possible to suggest a door, or it’s okay to plant a seed, dream a wish, or send a prayer, but I am specifically not to open the door, or water the seed, or drop the prayer in a mailbox anymore. All choices reside within YOU. I pray you make these choices from the compelling, deep love within your heart, without judgment or thought. Especially without thought.
So what am I doing here…? I am experiencing you in my heart in this now moment. I am remembering how many events and knowledge and history that we share. I am missing you in my daily life, wondering what you’re cooking, and who you spoke to or saw.
My life is robust and extremely interesting now with you not in it. That design was inspired by you becoming an adult. We are both very fortunate to have the privileges we do to explore and learn. Yet I still sometimes envy the mother daughter relationships that are close with regular shares, visits, gossip and ideas. I sometimes wonder if you do? And then I remember how independent we both are...we do not enable one another.
Once a parent always a parent…? Inability to let go…? Unequivocally NO on both counts. You are on your own person by design now and that must be respected. I no longer influence your choices, and was reminded by my mom again to stop trying.
Remember, however, that you are never alone. Ever Ever Ever. I know this to be an absolute truth. There is no science that needs to prove this, indeed it doesn’t exist yet except in the quantum field because it’s subtle. It’s energy. It’s love. It’s felt. It’s known. Real yet unseen. Like a strong wind that can knock over a huge oak tree, or that can be heard whistling down a valley. Do we need proof to know that this wind exists? Or love? Do you need proof to know that your grandmother B is still aware of everything you’re doing, and that we will always love you?
I am, we are, in your genealogy and in your heart, especially when you sing. I hope you don’t stop singing Maggie Jo, angel child of my time. This practical life that you say you must live, in your body in form on this sweet earth, I pray that when you need to feel true love again, you will remember me, your mom, here now and later unseen like GrandmaB.
I love you eternally and beyond. You are greatly loved.
xo
mom