Today is an auspicious anniversary. As I write this blog it is the 2nd anniversary of the first diagnosed case of the Covid-19 virus in the United States. Somehow it seems like both the longest and shortest two years of my life. It actually feels like every day is collapsed into the same day over and over again. Kind of like an infinity loop. A “groundhog” day (forgive the reference to the Chevy Chase movie of the same name, where day after day after day he re-awakens to the same day repeating itself over and over again).
Yet, in total, it could be argued that the last two years have absolutely changed the reality of daily living and interpersonal relationships more than any other two year period in history. It certainly has done so in our family!
We love our children and grandchildren above all else. We view them all as amazing, loving, honest, productive, and creative people. As parents we do not live our lives THROUGH our children or BECAUSE of our children. However, we do take great joy in recognizing attributes in them that appear to be, at least partially, a result of our love and parenting of them.
This pandemic has challenged the relationship that we have always cherished with our children as a close-knit blended family, and that we hold so dearly. Our children believe in mandated vaccinations…and my wife and I do not. Since their opinion is similar to that of 70% to 80% of the population, they also feel it provides them with a mandate to establish physical contact boundaries and visits between their families and my wife and I.
Of course, they have always had that authority, which we have always respected, with or without a pandemic. Now, however, the government has codified parental judgment by establishing new rules for safe engagement with ANY human beings, whether they are complete strangers or devoted family that is very familiar with each other.
This blog is not intended to argue the merits of anyone’s opinion of pandemic lockdown restrictions. I try to practice divine neutrality, the absolute right of individuals to feel the truth of their opinions… no matter the consequence or impact on any other person’s feelings or opinions. Let it be what it is, I cannot fix or change anyone. Of course my belief in divine neutrality does not keep our children from judging our choices about vaccines in general and vaccine mandates specifically.
Our dilemma as parents, now grandparents, remains unresolved. Our children are doing what they absolutely believe to be the best thing for themselves and their children AND us by providing a protective and safe environment with as little unvaccinated exposure as possible. For them there is NO acceptable risk in exposing US or their CHILDREN to the virus. Ironically, several of our children and grandchildren have already contracted the virus and recovered. With similar irony, I have not had so much as a cold in the past two years.
The end of the crisis and family separation does not yet seem to be in sight. Fear, and facemasks, delayed and insufficient socialization of both parents and children, the separation of generations, political radicalization, plans and holidays put on hold, cancelled, or destroyed, will be the legacy of the past two years.
I am praying that rational discourse, compromise, with some love and optimism shorten the duration of the remaining pandemic challenges. For myself, I am simply looking forward to the moment we will be able to physically hug and kiss our children and grandchildren AS SOON AS POSSIBLE!!
These past two years have been extraordinarily hard. I have experienced tremendous grief and loss through separation from our kids and grandkids. I didn’t realize how much more precious time could become as a grandparent than it was as a parent. Even though our children may never agree with our choices, I hope they can appreciate our lesson that you must stand by what you believe, regardless of the cost. Otherwise you may end up standing for nothing at all. This is how much we love them.