Whether we like it or not, our kids are likely to grow up with many similar physical and emotional character traits to those of our own.. Physically, it is easy to spot similarities in eye and hair coloring, facial expressions, even the way our kids walk and gesture cause us to be amazed by the powers of inherited DNA . Features and gestures are fun to marvel at but nothing for which we can take credit (or blame) for as parents. However, our ability, intentional or unintentional, to imprint our children with emotional characteristics and lifestyle choices are entirely our responsibility. Kindness, meanness, open mindedness, work ethic, tolerance, empathy, core values and beliefs, healthy eating, junk food diets… all are imprinted onto our children by us, their parents. As you mentor your children’s growth, certain character traits will become obvious as to who they are likely to become as evolved adults. Your emotions of pride or regret (or both) will surely be triggered by their actions.
This came to me - you may not remember (or have even heard of) the very popular singer in the 70s, Harry Chapin. As popular as he was he produced only one #1 single in his career called Cats in the Cradle. The full song lyrics are below. It has always impacted me. I hope you find it heartfelt. Love, Mickey
A child arrived just the other day
He came to the world in the usual way
But there were planes to catch, and bills to pay
He learned to walk while I was away
And he was talking before I knew it and as he grew
He said, "I'm gonna be like you, Dad
You know I'm gonna be like you"
Refrain: And the cats in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man in the moon
When you comin' home, Dad, I don't know when
But we'll get together then
You know we'll have a good time then
My son turned ten just the other day
He said, "Thanks for the ball, Dad, come on let's play
Can you teach me to throw?"
I said, "Not today, I got a lot to do"
He said, "That's okay"
And he walked away but his smile never dimmed
And said, "I'm gonna be like him, yeah
You know I'm going to be like him"
Refrain: And the cats in the cradle…
Well he came from college just the other day
So much like a man I just had to say
"Son, I'm proud of you, can you sit for a while?"
He shook his head and he said with a smile
"What I'd really like, Dad, is to borrow the car keys
See you later, can I have them please?"
Refrain: And the cats in the cradle…
I've long since retired, my son's moved away
I called him up just the other day
I said, "Id like to see you if you don't mind"
He said, "I'd love to Dad, if I could find the time
You see my new job's a hassle and the kids have the flu
But it's sure nice talking to you, Dad
It's been sure nice talking to you"
And as I hung up the phone it had occurred to me
He'd grown up just like me, my boy was just like me
Refrain: And the cats in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man in the moon
When you comin' home, son, I don't know when
But we'll get together then, Dad
We're gonna have a good time then
--Harry Chapin, 1974 on his Verities & Balderdash album. Inspired by the birth of his son Josh.